Words Do No Justice

I enjoy how when I am angry with my family, they know not to speak to me.

Let's get rid of the worst:
Stage:
I just leave the bathroom after a cold shower before bed. My mother is standing at the end of the hall leaning against the wall.
Dialogue:
Mom: Finally.
Me: What?
Mom: Some of us would like to use the bathroom so we can go to bed.
Me: Oh, so sorry to delay you for the 10 minutes I was in there while you were outside smoking for 5.
Mom: You know, since you've gotten that license you've been nothing but an ass.
Me: I haven't even been home to be an ass, and I didn't even do anything wrong so what the fuck?
Enter, Dad
Dad: You don't seem to do anything right either
More words are exchanged
Me: Sorry for being such a godawful son. I'm such a waste of sperm, dad you should've waited for the next batch.

End scene

Honestly, what was said to me hurt, a lot. I'm glad to know I'm the biggest fuck-up of my parent's lives, that no matter what I do, it's not good enough. The worst part is that it's not even me just thinking that, it's the fact that they say it and it's true. My parents see me as a total and complete failure.

Enough about that


--


Things have been very good between Adam and I. We're not sick of each other, we can make jokes about each other. He wants a relationship with me as badly as I want a relationship with him, and we're making it work. I can't wait for our first fight. I almost let the L word slip out a few times today. I stopped myself, and in retrospect I'm glad I did. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Yes, I like him a lot, no, I don't love him yet. I will, in time.

I got my license! I know some of you are saying, "Finally!" and so am I. Being able to drive on my own is such a liberating feeling. I feel so much more independent and more my age. As much as I hate having to pay for gas, I don't miss the bus.

I tend to blog once a month now. I don't know how to feel about this. Part of me is saying, "You have nothing to write about". Another part of me is saying, "You have to write about this". I keep saying I'll try, and I don't follow through. I don't like that.