Getting Scared - Imogen Heap
Monday, March 23, 2009 by Genre
I feel like I'm biting off way more than I can chew lately. I have to get a business license soon so I can claim income tax from my clients. I don't think I'm ready for that, I'm not even 19 yet. I have the next few years of my life planned out, and that scares the shit out of me. I am going to work, work, and work some more. I'm going to become an absolute work-a-holic. I am going to do amazing at work, and I am going to have a shit-ton of clients of my own. I've been reflecting on a set price-list of products for my business. Here's a run down of what I have so far:
Scheduling Fee: $10 (Only refundable in the event of the photographer's cancellation)
Cancellation/Rescheduling Fee: $30
Photography Fee: $100 + $50 for every hour after the first (This includes editing -Thanks Larissa)
CD: $5
Partial Copyright Ownership (Terms of which are negotiable, pricing is not): $100
Full Copyright Ownership: $1000
Prints: $15 each (8x10 or smaller)
I think that's all pretty reasonable, and I have to be able to make a profit somehow if all that is going to be taxed. So for 50 images with no retouching and reserved copyright licensing on a CD it would cost $165. That's pretty cheap. Why do I have a cancellation fee? I have to take time off work from my actual job to get whatever my client wants done, I have to arrange for my own transportation, my equipment, and this is my time and skills we're talking about. I am providing a service that one cannot provide for themselves (Hence why they're hiring me) and what I have learned and spent time developing is not going to be wasted. Every contract I write also says that if for any reason I (the photographer) must cancel, I will make any arrangement I can to find another photographer to take my place, or refund any money (the scheduling deposit). I have to make a living somehow.
I find myself micromanaging myself so much lately. I have my day planned out completely before I leave the house. I have my morning routine timed with a 5 minute flexibility. I think I'm going crazy, I'm becoming such a control freak. I am causing myself so much unneeded stress by doing it too. I'm becoming a workaholic, I'm becoming greedy, and I've lost all my focus. I have forgotten everything I've trained myself to do. I hadn't really taken time for myself in a long time until this past weekend. I finally treated myself to completely letting go and forgetting all consequence. Now I'm addicted to that feeling like morphine. I am craving to go back to Play, be with "my people". I haven't felt that comfortable with myself in months and I've missed it. I liked being able to look at a guy knowing that I wouldn't get shitkicked. I liked not having to worry about how I looked or how I acted or who I was with or how I danced or anything. The atmosphere of that place just assures me that I'm okay just the way I am. Since I've been single I can't help but remember Nicole's words about me being so devastated, so destroyed. I don't see myself as that anymore, I see myself as renovated. I was someone old and I'm rebuilding myself into someone better.
I visited O'leary today and saw people I haven't seen in close to a year. I miss being in school, I miss seeing friends everyday, I miss having a reason to be up early. I talked a bit with my old English teacher, and it was as if she had been frozen in time. She hasn't changed a bit but I felt so much older, I felt so much more knowledgeable than what I was sitting in her class. I can't believe it's almost been a year and a half since I've been out of school.
I'm growing older too quickly. I'm not ready for this, I'm not even 19.
Scheduling Fee: $10 (Only refundable in the event of the photographer's cancellation)
Cancellation/Rescheduling Fee: $30
Photography Fee: $100 + $50 for every hour after the first (This includes editing -Thanks Larissa)
CD: $5
Partial Copyright Ownership (Terms of which are negotiable, pricing is not): $100
Full Copyright Ownership: $1000
Prints: $15 each (8x10 or smaller)
I think that's all pretty reasonable, and I have to be able to make a profit somehow if all that is going to be taxed. So for 50 images with no retouching and reserved copyright licensing on a CD it would cost $165. That's pretty cheap. Why do I have a cancellation fee? I have to take time off work from my actual job to get whatever my client wants done, I have to arrange for my own transportation, my equipment, and this is my time and skills we're talking about. I am providing a service that one cannot provide for themselves (Hence why they're hiring me) and what I have learned and spent time developing is not going to be wasted. Every contract I write also says that if for any reason I (the photographer) must cancel, I will make any arrangement I can to find another photographer to take my place, or refund any money (the scheduling deposit). I have to make a living somehow.
I find myself micromanaging myself so much lately. I have my day planned out completely before I leave the house. I have my morning routine timed with a 5 minute flexibility. I think I'm going crazy, I'm becoming such a control freak. I am causing myself so much unneeded stress by doing it too. I'm becoming a workaholic, I'm becoming greedy, and I've lost all my focus. I have forgotten everything I've trained myself to do. I hadn't really taken time for myself in a long time until this past weekend. I finally treated myself to completely letting go and forgetting all consequence. Now I'm addicted to that feeling like morphine. I am craving to go back to Play, be with "my people". I haven't felt that comfortable with myself in months and I've missed it. I liked being able to look at a guy knowing that I wouldn't get shitkicked. I liked not having to worry about how I looked or how I acted or who I was with or how I danced or anything. The atmosphere of that place just assures me that I'm okay just the way I am. Since I've been single I can't help but remember Nicole's words about me being so devastated, so destroyed. I don't see myself as that anymore, I see myself as renovated. I was someone old and I'm rebuilding myself into someone better.
I visited O'leary today and saw people I haven't seen in close to a year. I miss being in school, I miss seeing friends everyday, I miss having a reason to be up early. I talked a bit with my old English teacher, and it was as if she had been frozen in time. She hasn't changed a bit but I felt so much older, I felt so much more knowledgeable than what I was sitting in her class. I can't believe it's almost been a year and a half since I've been out of school.
I'm growing older too quickly. I'm not ready for this, I'm not even 19.